The Hives of Life.

They have evolved. What use to be a silly glitch in my system when I talked to a cute guy, has now become something that happens to me whenever I get excited. The HIVES. Let me take you back to last Thursday to a classic example of the curse of the hives. I was covering the front reception desk at work, and as I input data and answered phones I saw a cute guy walk in the front doors. I paid very little attention to the situation at first, just kinda hoping he would come into our offices. Then the door opened at it was the cute guy. A small panic flushed over me as I smiled, trying to remember everything I learned from "John Tucker Must Die,"  1- Breath, 2-Wait three seconds before responding to a question, and 3-Try not to come off too desperate . So I welcomed him in and asked him who he was there for, he was so charismatic and nice, I am use to cute guys being stuck up and rude because most guys were that way where I grew up. Then I felt those nasty beeches creep up my neck, I tried to pull my shirt up without looking too obvious, it didn't work.  What could he have done to  make me react this way? Was I that deprived of male attention? The answer is, YES! What made matters worst was after I called the person he was suppose to see, is he started to talk to me, and man could he make you feel special. He was average height, dark wavy hair and had really straight teeth. He kinda looked like that guy that played Rachel's younger boyfriend in 'Friends' his name was Tag. ANYWAYS so as we talked I felt the hives get worse and worse. All I wanted was for someone to come and get this dream boat outta there! THEN something I thought would NEVER happen. He asked me where I went to school I said with a smile "SLCC" and my lip started to quiver! WHY I had no idea. But now when I talked to him it looked like I was about to cry. SO recap. My neck and cheeks were now red and splotchy, my voice was shaky and my lips were quivering like an earthquake! This was not playing it cool. How can I ever be the "cool chick" with this evident ''give away''? FINALLY someone came to get him for whatever he was there for. He smiled at me and said it was nice meeting me and gave me a little nod. So of course my head starts reeling with daydreams... I was so sure that he would get done with his meeting and go up to the front desk and ask for my name,and/or my number. Or in my wildest dreams that he would be waiting for me when I was done with work... Did any of this happen? No. No matter how much I wish this was '10 things I hate about you', Heath Ledger will not be waiting by my car with a new guitar and confess his love for me. That's just not the world I live in, it's the ''Jenna World" that I someday hope to live in, but you know what? a daydream every once and a while never hurt anyone... Ten minutes later, I went to my friend Tanya's desk to have her scale the hives from 1-10 her first response was "WHOA!" which is never good.
 I had the foolish thought that this curse only showed it's self when a cute guy is around and we talked and engage in a slight flirtation, I was wrong.
 Today I had a phone interview to volunteer at the 2014 Sundance Film Festival. The interview went great! I am so in!!! I will be handling mostly the parties and social events, not the crappy jobs like ticket taking. So after my interview I went to Tanya's desk to tell her all about it, the first thing she says is "why do you have hives? what happened?" (I love Tanya for always telling me like it is. She is the best, I recommend everyone have a "Tanya" in there life) It has come to the point that I don't even feel  that I have them! But apparently they were there.
So yes I think they are embarrassing and annoying and no matter how hard I try to follow the "John Tucker" rules, I will always have a "give away", and that's okay. I guess they make me Jenna. I am sure that there  is a guy out there that will love my hives and think it is adorable that I have this huge "give away". In a nutshell these hives are a good thing, the guy that falls in love with me will have no doubt that I'm in love with him, because the hives don't lie.

Am I Bigfoot?

While sitting in church the other day it dawned on me...I might be a loner my whole life. As I sat while we sang church hymns I looked around at all the people in the room, all these little girls with pretty hair and dime a dozen attitudes, I came to the realization that's just not me, and that's okay.  I am not skinny, I'm  socially weird when a guy is around that I think is semi-cute, I tend to think I could be a stand-comic but I can't deliver a punch line to save my life. I tend to think I look like Mindy Kaling if she lived in Utah her whole life.  But lets face it, the only relationship I have been in was all in my head, and the others, have been with celebrities, that I am sure if we ever were to  met we would be the best couple on the face of the earth.
 So was I just a sad case that was doomed to walk the earth alone like Bigfoot ? Doomed to wonder the world alone ? NO!  I mean if I did pull a Bigfoot it wouldn't be the worst thing, I would never have to shave,  (HUGE plus), and my lack of  the 'mysterious factor' would go up, so up that I would have people wondering if I even existed.  Maybe  people would make plaster castings of my flat Indian foot. But it still it raised the question,would I  give in to this mentality that I have been living with my whole life? That if I wasn't married or have had a serious relationship by the time I was 25 that I would grow old with a dog and a modest income, only ever being the 'favorite auntie'? (Which isn't bad thing)  What about all the other favorites I am missing out on- Favorite girlfriend, favorite snuggler, favorite person to hang out with? I want that too! Was I just a "Bigfoot" in training?
Here's the thing about me. I can't be a bitch to guys or the " hard to get girl" I hate playing games. If a guy is not into me I would want to know so I don't waste my time.  I am a I am not a younger twenty-something I am and older twenty-something and I am proud of that. I guess I am a hopeless romantic. Or I have watched "When Harry Met Sally" too much, but I know if I just stay true to who I am I'll find my Harry. That's one thing I wish I could tell younger me. Celebrate you everyday! because you are pretty great and who really wants to be like everyone else?

I don't know what the future holds for me. I hope that one day I can look back at these little blog posts, laugh and say "why did I ever think that?" but until then I am going to keep believing I am a stand up comic in front of hot guys. So if I do end up becoming "Bigfoot", wondering the world alone at least I'll be laughing.